Mini me strikes again.

 

Taylor has been a bit perturbed with me over a certain issue, so instead of acting out like most pre-teens would do, she’s debating me with written word. 

Below is the exact copy of her “persuasive essay”

Hope you enjoy it half as much as I did.

 

Persuasive essay

Prompt: Should Taylor be allowed to bring her iPad to school? Suport your answer.

I believe that I should be able to bring my iPad to school for a number of reasons but the main three reasons are: 1. It will enhance my education. 2. It will be more convenient to other students. 3.It will make being organized even easier for me.

As stated earlier, bringing my iPad to school will enhance my education. You might be thinking, "How will an iPad enhance someone's education." I know it sounds unlikely but it will work out. I have books on my iPad so just in case I forget my S.S.R (Sustained Silent Reading.) book, I can just read on my iPad. Also, I have apps to help me with math and other subjects.

Okay, the second reason might sound unlikely to you but it makes sense. Bringing MY iPad to school will be more convenient to other students because all of the computers in our school are HORRIBLE so if I bring my iPad, I can just use this so another student can use a functional computer.

The third reason supports itself. It doesn't matter how smart you are, if you're not organized than you aren't going to get anywhere. I think that bringing my iPad to school will not only help me become even more organized, but it will also boost my grades because of my organizational skills.

Alright, I know your still not comfortable with the idea of me bringing my iPad to school, even with all of the above reasons I have given you. I am now going to address some of your most extreme concerns. 1. You're afraid I might drop it, bump it into something, smash it ect. 2. You're afraid I will lose it or it will get stolen. 3. You're afraid I will get caught playing on it in the middle of class and get it taken up.

Reason one is a valid reason, but its highly unlikely. If you haven't noticed an, iPad is very large and mine has a protective case with a lot of traction. Plus I carry the iPad between my notebooks so it will have more protection in case someone does bump into me.

Number two isn't probable. How do you lose an iPad? It's fairly large and difficult to misplace. It being stolen doesn't make sense either because they would: 1. Obviously be caught because I'm the only one in the school with this case. 2. Doesn't have and iPad 10 minutes ago, walks to the next class with and iPad. 3. My iPad has an engravement on the back so I would have proof. 4. NOTHING has ever been stolen all year so I think it's fine. You would have to have some judgment issues if you were going to steal an iPad.

Number three is just plain stupid. You can't really hide an iPad underneath a desk and play with it! It's just not practical. Therefore, if I'm not playing with it the teacher would have no reason to take it up.The desks have baskets underneath the desks so I will just keep it under there with a layer of books for extra protection.

In conclusion, there is really no reason I shouldn't be able to bring my iPad to school that I haven't supported above. I have addressed both sides of the argument and supported my case on both sides of the argument. Therefore, you should let me bring my iPad to school.

Deep thoughts

As I sit here in bed after a long tiring day doing my due diligence by watching my television programs before they threaten to fill up the DVR, I find myself pondering something that in these uncertain times, I would imagine that most people with a half a heart and soul would ponder. . . Why can't men's nuts be remotely as tasty as chocolate nuts? That is all. Goodnight.

Wanna play?

 

After all of this time you may think I’m an open book, but I want you  to be aware that I have many secrets. Among them are countless hidden talents that are simply tucked away until I feel the need to expose them to the masses.

Now is that time.

In my abundant free time when I’m not chasing around my 1 yr old, yes, he’s one and he’s fucking adorable!!! I like to engage myself in mindless gaming. Drawing With Friends is the latest addiction you see, and I love it only because I’m stunningly good at it.

 

If you play with me, I can assure you I’m going to outdo myself with each additional turn.

 

I also don’t even bother with the measly 1 coin drawings. Only the most difficult and rewarding drawings will be attempted because I was basically born with a competitive, winning spirit and the drive to achieve the impossible.

 

Please be forewarned, an astute knowledge in pop culture isn’t necessarily required, but will definitely be appreciated by yours truly.

 

If Drawing With Friends isn’t your forte, perhaps a little Hanging With Friends is? I will also gladly engage you in that as well. I pride myself on having a rather enhanced vocabulary that will challenge you at every turn. I’m also fairly dignified when it comes to losing, so no worries on that front.

Are you up for the challenge?

Social media is like a blood sucking tick on the taint of humanity.

 

I have no idea where I even want to start this post. I’ve written no less than 10 entry paragraphs, all vastly different from the last, with escalating intensity of profanity and sarcasm, and I still can’t manage to get my thoughts across.

It’s been a while since my last entry… Aaaaand, now feel as though I’m in the confession closet at church back when I was a kid. With the mean Ivan Drago looking priest on the other side of the wall, most likely furiously masturbating as he menacingly tells me to go back to the church and say 3 hail Marys,  2 Our Fathers, and 2 glory be’s for calling my Mom an old bitch when I was 7 years old.

Anyway, It’s been a long time. Too long, really. I used to enjoy this blog, and all of the people I’ve met along the way. I got to peek into your lives, and share a little bit of my chaos with you all. It was heart warming. Kind of…

Then poof!

My interest faded in the blog world, and I moved on to bigger and better things. I no longer had time for you all because I was too busy reading what Moron from dipshitville had for dinner. Oh, and that guy I used to know back in the day that used to beat his girlfriend? He’s now a born again Christian and spews Bible verses on the regular.

Susie sharesalot uses her status updates as though she’s writing in her godamned personal journal, including information about her bowel habits. I’m actually embarrassed for her.  I also have a friend that passed away months ago, but still posts stuff from time to time. That’s one hell of a wifi connection, folks.

Fucking facebook.

I used to enjoy it. It was an easy way to keep up with my friends and family, but now all it does is agitate the shit out of me. Just when I think that there is no way in hell that people can get any more senseless, someone hits post on their irrelevant political status update and proves me wrong. My own Mother pisses me off on Facebook for fucks sake. If someone in my family dies, I honestly do not expect a call from my Mom. She’ll post the news on Facebook first, right after helping find Kony, getting a free pair of Tom’s, and giving the little girl a heart transplant just by clicking the “like” button.

To fight fire with fire, I’ve started posting what I would consider to be offensive status updates just to cancel out all of the stupid on my timeline, and by the end of the day if I haven’t lost a few “friends” I consider myself a huge failure.

I was most successful with my “Keep the X in X-mas.” and my “I’d go to church more if they spread Nutella on those wafer things.” updates.

But even as perturbed as Facebook has become to me, I still check it regularly. Why? Such a negative, time consuming practice for something that I allegedly loathe, no?

To make matters worse, I even got a twitter account. Yet another time suck that I found interesting at first, but quickly changed my mind after realizing idiots congregate there as well. So today I deleted my account, and guess what? If felt pretty good.

So now the question is, do I delete my Facebook as well? What is it adding to my life other than frustration, and to prove what I already know? Most people are fucking dickbags.

Am I alone in my social media frustrations? How much time would I add to my day to actually accomplish something that would be meaningful in my life, instead of wasting those spare moments away on Facebook? Maybe I could develop a new hobby, take more photography classes, go to the gym, etc.

Holy shit, that sounded like something an adult would say.

I’ve always been good at wiping things out from my life that add little to no value. Is Facebook next on my list?

How do YOU feel about social media. Am I the only one who is jaded? Is there a point to having friends on Facebook if 89% of them are hidden?

Do tell.

(BTW, there’s no way in hell I’m letting Pinterest go. Fuck off.)